propelled to act

this is a blog I posted on myspace a little over a year ago:

REVO..revolution...

an idea inspired by the need and want for something different, something refreshing...something radical; definately not a new concept...revolutions have been going on for years...decades...centuries. People, minds, and hearts have been changed because of other peoples' efforts...because of their love...because of their willingness to die to themselves. What does that look like to you? Do you think of a specific instance in our history, in the nation's history, in the world's history? Or do you think of an instance that involves you, an ordinary person? I'm going to assume you didn't chose the latter. Why?

I'm not a deep, inspirational person...what I'm saying may not make sense or even portray my heart clearly...but, today is the day that our generation can create a revolution...continue a revolution. Allow yourself to be inspired and look outside your little bubble, whatever that may be...Do you see that everything is not all that it should be?

What do you want to see changed? Where do you want to see love taken and shared? What is your idea of REVO?

"Do not stand in the center if you do not wish to be shaken. There is always danger when the movement comes. Its force is most powerful underneath the surface, then breaks through the hardest of ground. Epic change moves from the inside out."
-Ayden, The Perils of Ayden

this is something that i wrote on January 19th of last year. this was at the start of something good that created community and change in the lives for the people involved and change for the people it affected. if you know me, you know REVO. you know its place in my life and what it created in me. so REVO...an act of love and radical change began and continued. From REVO Hilo and REVO Nashville to...well...this:



REVO propelled me into this mindset of action. Thus, I came to work for Invisible Children. An organization committed to long-term, sustainable development as well as instilling the need to act in the hearts' of American youth. Since I've been in San Diego, REVO has always been a reference for my experiences and decisions. Its carried me to this point. To a point of still asking God, "What can I do now...now that I'm here with these amazing people with incredible hearts?" I haven't given it much inclusive thought until recently. You might be wondering, "What thought?" The thought of creating a REVO in San Diego. Instilling what I saw and felt in Nashville...what I saw in the hearts of a few young people in Las Vegas on tour...what I see as the natural progression of things.

I'm asking God for clarity on this issue because I'm enamored at what He is doing with REVO. Could praying for this conflict with my desire to still be with Invisible Children. Absolutely...but I will not limit myself to only my desires. This belongs to God. Both Invisible Children and REVO. If he has me do both or one or the other...so be it. This is a good place to be.

my day.

my day has consisted of some pretty interesting events and situations. basically, i've kicked it with two girls because their significant others have been crazy slammed with work. so...nice coffee shop time and grocery shopping (for a meal that would be fixed for her boyfriend) to riding bikes and grabbing dessert at this bangin place called extraordinary desserts. i can officially be coined as the backup. and...i'm okay with that because the conversation that was had was so legit. and let me note that there is no problems in either relationship with these girls. their guys are great folks with a lot on their plate. i feel like this post is getting really awkward as if i keep on digging a hole...dangit.

well on a more serious side, i was able to go out to lunch this afternoon with tiffany. if you've read the previous entry you would know that she is the one that would be hiring for the position that i've applied for at IC. she "owed" my lunch because i've been helping out at the office with some random work so therefore this lunch was not an intentional time to talk about the recruiter position. however...it naturally came up. we were discussing some things about HR and hiring the new roadies and because we were eating there was a natural lull in conversation. during this lull, tiffany said that she was excited about the recruiter position. now...i had told myself that i would not bring it up and freakin' tiffany did...yes! so there was the opportunity to say what i wanted to say. i needed to make clear that i still desired the position. i made my point...and i do know some useful information as well as where i might fit in all of this craziness. the position is a priority even while hiring all of the roadies...it does still depend on funding...however after a rather crazy important meeting on Friday in San Fran with IC folks and important investors, this position could become a reality as well as so many other important aspects to our programs. A lot of hope is in that meeting. anyway, tiffany made it a point to say that the things that she was concerned about with me in the position are no longer issues. i was so blessed and affirmed by this conversation. so i'm stoked to be in this place right now...it feels good as uncertain still as it is. its hard to convey to friends and especially family how i'm okay with this waiting period. with IC there is so much professionalism but at the same time we are all friends and in this case...all friends trying to help each other out but having to wait on the proper circumstances to help fully. i'm not sure if that makes sense but i don't want to get into much detail. i love where i am at...and where this is going.

on another note, its hard to hear news of something from someone who still has a big piece of your heart and to know that that person is moving on. moving on because she is happy. moving on because i just don't have a say. as much as i want to fight. i can't. its not my place. so yet another interesting situation...while my life is as well moving on, a part of me is still stopped. still waiting and lingering. is this healthy? probably not. is it natural? i'd say so (in a twisted sense). so i'm happy because she is happy. i can try to move on because she is moving on. and i can still love her because...i can.

settling?

its pretty much official.
dave and i have found an apartment.
its a bangin' 2 bedroom
for a relatively good price for SD.

i'm kinda takin' the leap
b/c i have no idea what i will be doing.
maybe a job with IC, maybe not.
so let the networking begin, i suppose.

at this point, yes...i'm waiting...
to hear from the powers that be at IC,
yet again.

i've applied to be the Recruiter/HR Coordinator.
nice title, huh?

since i've been back from Uganda, i've been in the office a few times to help out with some tasks that i'd probably be doing in the position i've applied for. right now, the priority is hiring roadies for the fall tour and i'm not exactly sure when its going to be a priority to fill the Recruiter/HR Coordinator position. but this is round two in going for an HR position with Invisible Children.

It seems that being involved with IC is probably the best thing that could happen to one person, but it can also be the death of that person. Due to the amazing environment and mission of IC, to come right out of school and begin working for such an organization is difficult. Mainly because Invisible Children is similar to an organization that you would want to work your way up to b/c of its solidarity and holistic approach to its mission, both stateside and in Uganda. But, with receiving a position without much professional experience and then after your time with IC, where do you go? Do you give in and move on to some corporate blah blah blah or do you create something all your own that has the favored characteristics? hm. this is something to ponder on. this is what you would call, "IC Withdrawl"...

So...do I want a job with IC so that I can continue to be involved in this subculture and ground-breaking humanitarian work? duh. But...if I don't get the job, where does that leave me?

Searching. Not settling.