back in sd

i'm back.

today for some reason has been the toughest day.
not because of jet lag and not because of culture shock.
simply because i'm alone.

this is a good thing,
but still a tough issue to chew on.
i'm alone in the roadie house.

a house that involved so many conversations,
so many laughs, prayers, and tears.
so many life-altering relationships.
and now it is empty.
ready and willing for the next community of people,
but never will it inhabit the same.

i don't know why this has hit me all of a sudden...
maybe this is my culture shock.
to go from all of us being together to a few of us in Uganda...
to me.

its good to be back. to continue to be at the mercy of God.
to be blessed.
to be loved.
to be challenged. financially. spiritually. physically.

i'm crying to God today for contentment and joy.
for a void to be filled that still has yet to be filled.
for direction and certainty (but i know certainty in my life is rare).
for obedience.
to feel unconditional love.